Lost and Found on Facebook

"When you function with an open heart, the world and everything in it, belong to you."

It took my friend J, 23 years to find her, and in a sense, find redemption for a silly, immature thing that had transpired between them in college. "We have to look for her," he told me when I stayed at his home this week-end in Dublin, California. J said that he had spotted her at the public library close to his home a couple of years ago but at that moment had forgotten her name. And so I told him that if he had seen her there, in all probability, she was just living in close proximity to where he was.

We tried to recall where M.A. went to high school. We had all gone to the Ateneo for college and were classmates in our Freshman year in 1986. I told him I recall that she went to Teresiana and he said that I was probably right. My next step was to send an FB message to three of my contacts who had gone to the same high school, and ask them about her whereabouts. The wonderful thing about Facebook is that in an instant you can get a reply to your query, provided the answers are known. True enough, In less than 24 hours, P and Y got back to me with MA’s contact numbers!

“What do you want me to do with this while I am still here?” I asked J with a smile, as we both stared at the message that contained her contact numbers. The usually bubbly J, was stumped. I could see it in his brown eyes. He told me he had lived with the guilt of making her cry and was at that point in his life when he just wanted to make amends. I asked him what the fight was all about and he said that he couldn’t even remember. He could only still recall her tears and how terrible he must have made her feel that day.

“Let’s call her…” he said.

I dialed her number and after four rings, she picked it up. MA and I had been very close friends in college and she had been to my house several times. “Hello, MA, this is Cathy B from Ateneo do you still remember me…?” I said in a cheerful voice, all the while hoping that she would indeed remember. J was at my side, waiting with bated breath. There was a pregnant pause that seemed to last forever.

“Oh my God… Oh…my… God…IS this Cathy, the fair one from White Plains?” I had to giggle at her description. “Yes, it’s me!” I told her gleefully. “Oh my God.. How did you find me?” So I told her about the process we took to get her number and then proceeded to tell her about this friend of ours from college who wanted to make amends for something he did to her in school, almost 25 years ago. At that point I passed on the phone to J, who for some reason fell on his knees and started, immediately to apologize for his misdeed.

What a joy and a blessing it is to witness a reconciliation, to be present when people find one another again, or when they find one another for the first time. J is like a brother to me, I have known him since we were in pre-school at the neighborhood kindergarten. We grew up in the same village and my heart was bursting with joy to see him so happy and relieved. J had told me that he really felt awful for many years about the brash and immature way he had dealt with MA and he just wanted to say sorry for being such a terrible person.

It was agreed that we would meet at Peet’s Coffee in the San Ramon area at 11 o’clock the following day. I could see that J was just so excited to meet up with MA and he started planning for their meeting that evening -- to the point of bringing out our college yearbook "to help jog everyone’s memory," he explained. The next day, we left Dublin and made it to Peet’s at 10:45 AM. “Sobra ka naman, excited,” I ribbed him. “Better that we’re early, the least I can do is treat her to coffee…” he grinned while we waited outside Peet’s, chilly from the cool, crisp air that morning. However, at 11:06AM, MA still had not shown up and we started to grow antsy. I started to feel bad for J, hoping that MA would show up for his sake. I asked him if that was the only Peet’s in the area, so he went to ask the barista to ask if there was another branch close by. The barista said that there was another one 1.5 mile away and so we hurriedly drove off to check if MA was there.

In the car, I told J that from my experience, when reunions such as these take place, there was always some added element of suspense to it. I knew that from experience. Either there would be a snag somewhere, so much that plans change, or the other party gets lost too. I had just reunited with the sister of my best friend and it took us close to half an hour before we finally met up at a Cheesecake Factory in Pleasanton. “Ganyan, talaga, para mas exciting…” I told him as we drove to the other Peet’s. I could also see that he was getting worried and I started to pray silently that she would be there.

Unfortunately, she still wasn’t at the second Peet’s branch and so I said that maybe we should just go back to the first one and wait there. We drove back again, arrived at the original Peet’s at 11:35 AM and decided to just have coffee. In our excitement, we had both forgotten to write down MA's numbers so I asked him to call 411 and check to see if they were listed. After a few tense minutes, we got her on the line. “Hi MA, we’re here at Peet’s…” She asked what time we arrived and I told her that we had arrived at 10:45 and waited until about 11:07 AM. “Oh no, I got there at 11:10AM and stayed until 11:30,” she told us. Goodness, we had missed each other twice by a few minutes! It was a scene straight out of a Meg Ryan-Tom Hanks movie! I asked if she could still come over and she gladly obliged.

J was so happy at the turn of events and practically leapt out of his seat the minute MA finally stepped into Peet’s. He had waited so many years for this moment. You could see and feel it in the way that they hugged. We were so happy to finally see MA at last. Later on, as we began trading stories, about what had transpired in our lives over the last 25 years, we found many similarities. The moment was a golden one, like no space nor time had lapsed.

I’ve found many people through the years, but there are a few that I continue to search for. I wait for the day to re-unite with my best friend from high school who has seemingly vanished into the thin air. II've learned that if someone wishes to be found, the universe will conspire, and God will make it happen. But if that person is not meant to be found, yet, then no matter how hard you try, it will not be. In the meantime, I revel in the joy of having a front-row seat at the reconciliations that I have been made a part of and the many wonderful people I have found in the waiting.