Saigon Zoo Sightings

Family time is always precious.

Though Ho Chi Minh has been beset with rains, dousing water on our plans to to a Mekong Delta River cruise or visit the Cu Chi tunnels, we were blessed with a sunny afternoon yesterday and decided to head out to the Saigon Zoo.

After a quick and hearty lunch at PHO 2000 - the restaurant made famous by former U.S. President Bill Clinton's visit -- we found ourselves staring in awe at a wide array of animals. The Saigon Zoo is clean and well-maintained and populated by funky monkeys, a smart orangutan, proud lions, absolutely adorable elephants, tubby rhinos, smart giraffes and a host of other hale and happy animals that both children and adults will enjoy. The kids and I and I had a great time traipsing through the zoo in spite of the strong afternoon sun that had us gulping down bottles of water. Most memorable for us was feeding "Horton" and his buddies! I had not seen so many elephants all together in my whole life :) L was really fascinated by their disposition as he feed them specially prepared sugarcane stalks. I'm sure it is one memory that P and L will both keep and treasure 'til adulthood.

In 1864 the French built a 12-hectare botanical garden a few hundred metres from the middle of Saigon City, northeast of Thi Nghe Canal. Later a number of animals were put on display. In 1924 the park was expanded to include 12 more hectares across the canal. Saigon Zoo and the Botanical Garden are approximately 132 years old but very well-kept.

My Double Life

"Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will act in your behalf."
- Psalm 37:1


I'm back in my second home again, leading a much quieter and more sedate life surrounded by family.

We arrived here last week-end and it's wonderful to have all this peace and quiet once more. Don't get me wrong. I enjoy my life in Manila -- the sometimes harried pace, playing mom and dad, minding the house and the help (though that can be bloody sometimes...) and shuttling between office and home thrice a week. However, the quiet that being here affords is priceless. And since the kids are off from school we are together 24/7. Plus, I don't have to be both parents here because dad is around in the evenings and on Sundays. So we have a normal, quiet life here, so different from Manila.

Somewhere else in Asia, my best friend of 30plus years leads a parallel life. She's in Singapore as I write this. Keeping her mom company as she goes through chemotherapy. "C" left kids and hubz back home to be with her mom for a week or so. We chatted this morning and both agreed that we are more serene when we are away from our lives in Manila. There is so much more time to pray and meditate and rest where we are. We thank God for this opportunity to get away from our busy lives so that we can settle down and exhale :) And as we communicate from different countries we trade tips on how to text for free (chikka.com) and view our loved ones from afar via YM and Skype. Technology obviously, for all the negative flack it gets, has its pluses too.

Life on this visit is much easier because we now have a full-time housekeeper - let's call her Tiger Lily -- whom we brought with us on this trip and who will take care of the house after we leave. In addition to Ms. Yim who comes and cleans every morning, Tiger Lily will be cooking good old Pinoy food for H - sinigang, nilaga, tinola, adobo etc... you can only take so much of Pho. Pinoy pa rin tayo after all.

And then there is Mr. Thin, our driver who is interpreter and tourist guide rolled into one. An essential part to making life here all the more bearable. He takes us where we need to go and tells us where to get this and that. God has blessed us with good help. And you need all the good help that you can get especially in a foreign land where English is not the predominant language.

It rains in the afternoons now, making it all the more conducive for sleep and reflection and writing... and blogging. I'm looking forward to seeing new areas like going on a Mekong Delta river cruise, visiting the Cu Chi Tunnels, watching some elephants play football (yes, you read that right...) and strolling on the beach.

Life's not all leisure here by the way. For many hours each day, I still sit in front of my laptop as I telecommute with my super-able assistant in Manila, as we coordinate projects for the hospital where I do consultancy work now. Working from wherever I am is something that I consider such a huge blessing as well.

A year ago, I would never have imagined being in this place or living this "double life". Vietnam had always been on my wish list for many, many years and so I am thankful for the way that God has worked in our lives by bringing us all here at this time. In life I have learned that we can only plan so much but in the end, it is really God's will for us that is most important. Proverbs 16:1-4 says -- "To man belong the plans of the heart, but from the Lord comes the reply of the tongue... Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed." Everything I do nowadays, I ask God first to bless. If He desires to, it happens, then if not, I just go with Hsi flow. Life has become less stressful when one turns it over to Him.

When Love Begins...With Aga Muhlach :)

When commitment starts, does the passion end?

Such is the premise of the latest Aga Muhlach-Anne Curtis starrer, "When Love Begins", written and directed by my favorite Director Joey Reyes. If it's a Joey Reyes movie you can be assured of great chemistry between the lead stars, and crisp, witty and memorable dialogue. Sa trailer pa nga lang, makikita mo na :)

And oh my, the theme song - "One Hello" by Randy Crawford sent me reeling down memory lane. A huge hit in 1982 when I was fresh out of high school and in love for the very first time. O diba, when love begins...

And how time flies, the year after "One Hello" became a hit, a young mestizo was creating aves of his own and zoomed to stardom by way of a hit, youth movie called "Bagets". Guess who?

What grabbed my attention from the films stills and trailer was the VERY fit and hot Aga Muhlach who only a year and a half ago was admittedly a blob. Look at him now! Naku, super vindication! I was telling my friend Girlie Rodis when I saw a photo of Aga and Anne on her site -- "Pabata ng pabata ang mga leading lady ni Aga". But hey, the man can carry it off! Super! He doesn't look like a day over 25. Seriously. I would love to see a Gabby Concepcion-Aga Muhlach-Edu Manzano starrer. Box office hit sigurado. Ageless men who have it all.

View the trailer below to see why "When Love Begins" is looking to be truly, the must-see Tagalog movie of the summer.

Thanks to Girlie Rodis for the photo above :)

Stress and its Far Reaching Effects

Some stress is good. But if you subject yourself to it on a daily basis, it will definitely be detrimental to your health.

Over the week-end I got my usual massage and the masseuse told me that I was terribly knotted all over! While browsing through the Net, I came across this image from the Washington Post and it was a pretty powerful image of the far-reaching effects that stress can have on our bodies.

According to the stress-management website Mindtools.com "The most commonly accepted definition of stress (mainly attributed to Richard S Lazarus) is that stress is a condition or feeling experienced when a person perceives that demands exceed the personal and social resources the individual is able to mobilize."

The same website shows us a tool - The SRE (Schedule of Recent Experience) is a useful technique for understanding the long term stress that you're experiencing.

It looks at the major life events you have experienced during the last year, and allocates an appropriate score to each of these. These scores are then added together, giving a total that shows the amount of major stress you have experienced during the year. There is a chart on the page that measures the level of stress that you are experiencing in your life right now.

Rather than alarm you or stress yourself further, use it as a helpful tool to help evaluate where you are now and what you can do to reduce the stress in your life.

As for me, now that the book I'm editing is done, I can sleep earlier and better :) Prayer is also the best armor I have for managing the stress in my life and I find that on the days when I am not able to do as much quiet time with HIM are the days when the stress begins to build up.

Sleep, an adequate amount of it, is another great way of getting your stressors under control. Exercise, boosts your endorphins and makes you happy as well. I think just being mindful of the things we feed our minds and being careful not too put too much on our plates, are essential too to keeping a well-balanced life. I find that music at the beginning and end of a long day day as I wind down are great anti-stress antidotes too.

Click here to see Great Tips on Stress Management From Reader's Digest.

On Resilience and Miracles

Ps.90:12 So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.

Never underestimate the power of God, and the power of prayers.

The other day, just before conducting our regular Friday night Griefshare meetings in church, I received the sad news that my good friend's husband's brain tumor had recurred and that they were in the hospital once more. It had been a great miracle that D had made it through Christmas. When he was diagnosed in the middle of 2007, the family was told that he may not make it to December. And yet he did! And through Valentine, and his eldest daughter's Junior prom, and managed a trip somewhere in Southeast Asia for a conventon on the last week of February. But, when they returned from this trip, he begun having major headaches once more and when they did an MRI, true enough, his tumor had returned.

So now they are back in the hospital, hoping for the best, praying for another miracle and as his wife, my friend says, "hanging on." So I tell her that D will be in our prayers and I am praying that God will see and carry him through once more.

My friend J, on the other hand, whom I asked readers of this blog to pray for a few entries ago, has left his Detroit hospital bed and is now back on his way home to San Francisco and will be recuperating there over the next month. Thank you all for your prayers. J thinks this is a second lease on life. I would like to believe that a second life begins anew for him at 43 :)

My best friend's mother continues to receive chemo treatment at a Singapore hospital and I am in awe of her journey. This is her third time around (in five years) to wrestle with the dreaded C. Each time she has come back from the battle with more grace, and a deeper relationship with our heavenly Father. If you talk about courage and resilience, she is on top of the list.

Why God allows illness into our lives, we can never really know. Why a tumor recurs, or why it happens, we cannot explain. All we can do, as we meet with doctors and dicuss the best options for treatment is to trust and believe that all of these events take place for a higher purpose and reason. God is fully aware of everything that takes place in our lives and He never makes mistakes. Though we cannot see His hand sometimes when the pain is too great, we find strength in trusting His heart and knowing that no matter how deep and dark the road ahead is, He is there. Corrie Ten Boom, the famous Christian author who lived and survived through the Holocaust says, "No pit is so deep, that the love of God is not deeper still." We need to remember that if it is part of his Divine plan, nothing is impossible with Him. All we need to do is ask, and believe.

What Kind of Mommy Are You?

Published in my ROOTS&WINGS column in the Lifestyle section of the Philippine Daily Inquirer, April 20, 2008

Last night I was having dinner with my mother and I realized that I was slowly becoming her.

Mom has always had wonderful skin and long, dark hair. They came to be because of years of diligent care. Mom would steep herself in virgin coconut oil on a daily basis long before it became vogue. Nowadays, I find myself obsessing over the same regimen.

Her outspokenness and sense of humor were outstanding characteristics. As I entered the 40something years, having shed the inhibitions of my younger years, I find myself embodying these very same traits.

Widowed in her late 40s, she showed me how to live a life where God becomes your partner and ally in all things and how nothing is impossible when you place your full trust in Him. When I lost my son ten years ago, it was this role-modeling that helped me keep my head above the water

Acclaimed psychologist, Dr. Stephan Poulter talks about how strongly our mothers influence us in his latest book – The Mother Factor: How Your Mother’s Emotional Legacy Impacts Your Life”. Poulter says, “Ninety-five percent of the time, it’s your emotional history spilling into the present.” And this holds true not only for daughters, but sons as well.

Poulter shows in his book how there may be more of a direct link between our successes in life and our mothers more than we might care to understand. I suppose if you had a mother who made you believe that you could achieve anything (this of course pre-supposes that she is reasonable in assessing your talents and skills) then more often than not that would happen.

In a March 2008 New York Times article on Barack Obama’s mother, he is quoted as saying, “I think sometimes that had I known she would not survive her illness, I might have written a different book — less a meditation on the absent parent, more a celebration of the one who was the single constant in my life,” he wrote in the preface to his memoir, “Dreams From My Father.” He added, “I know that she was the kindest, most generous spirit I have ever known, and that what is best in me I owe to her.”

Another presidential candidate, Sen. John Mc Cain, who in his 70s is seeking the highest office in land, constantly talks about his 96 year old mother who to this day continues to travel around the world. The same article quotes friends of Obama’s mother (“A very, very big thinker”) saying they see her influence unmistakably in Mr. Obama.

I know of a highly-successful female executive who as a young girl in high school constantly sought her mother’s approval. She would rake in all the academic awards ever possible and yet, she says that for her mother it was never enough. A few years ago, she was retrenched when her company merged with another and the incident led her into a deep depression. “My identity was always tied-up to who I was at work and what I could achieve,” she tells me. Today, she has fully recovered and is happily doing NGO work for an advocacy she has always been passionate about.
The perfectionist mother such as the one my friend had is just one of five predominant types of mothering styles that Poulter discusses in his book. The other styles are as follows --

• The “unpredictable” mother is a control freak, fearful and anxious. She focuses on appearance over substance and creates a child who is often ashamed, never good enough, focused on external issues and ultimately, self-loathing. Poulter advises that to overcome these problems, you must first “consider your opinion the most valuable because this concept stops the agony of people pleasing and worrying about other people’s opinions of you.”

• The “me first” mother is has children who come second to her, or worst, last, among her priorities. Self-serving, approval-seeking, non-empathetic, critical and arrogant, she sees the child as an extension of herself. The child can feel dismissed, emotionally deprived, self-doubting and angry. As adults, these people must learn to understand that they are “good enough,” he says.

• The “best friend” mother is apparently the style that has become most popular today, but also the most dangerous. Mothers, who try to dress like their teen-agers, go partying or drinking with them, fall under this category where boundaries are almost non-existent. This style creates an unbalanced emotional dependence and the child grows up feeling abandoned, neglected, angry, and yes, “motherless.” Poulter says this type of mothering is very predominant in Hollywood. Think Lindsay Lohan whose mother goes out drinking with her, or the late Anna Nicole smith who died of an accidental prescription drug overdose just five months after her own 20-year old son.

• The “complete” mother is one who is secure, insightful and nurturing; she understands her child’s needs and desires and guides them towards their own personal fulfillment and growth. Her child grows up to be someone empowered and navigates the transition from childhood to adolescence to adulthood with great ease.
Many mothers are a combination of the above but majority fit into one category than others. Poulter says that often it is by understanding how our mother’s legacy affects us today are we able fathom some of our deepest feelings, motivations and bind ourselves to the relationships that we are truly worthy of. So the next time you find yourself struggling with issues at work or in your personal life, you might want look into your childhood or evaluate the emotional legacy that the woman who brought you into this world has left on your life.

The Medical City’s Center for Patient Partnership will hold a lay forum on “Parenting 101” topics to be covered are pre-natal care, skin care during pregnancy, anesthesia options for labor and delivery, breastfeeding and practical tips for expectant parents. Call 635-6789 local 6444 to register.

Blogging To Beat Workload Blues

I can't believe it's been almost a week since I last blogged...

Yes, life can get in the way of blogging. Yes, it truly does. But something inside of me just had to stop in the middle of everything that I was doing, needed to do, or planned to do, to write down this entry. Blogging, or writing down my thoughts, I keep forgetting is my sanity-saver. Next to quiet time with the Lord, that is.

Ironically, and again, God speaks to me in weird and wonderful ways, the image for this entry comes from an article entitled "Writing Down Feelings Really Does Make Us Feel Better, Study Says" awesome God huh? The article says -- "This suggests people who are more mindful bring all sorts of prefrontal resources to turn down the amygdala. These findings may help explain the beneficial health effects of mindfulness meditation, and suggest, for the first time, an underlying reason why mindfulness meditation programs improve mood and health." Writing makes me more mindful, true. It keeps me more attuned to who I am, what I feel inside. Writing has helped me heal from all sorts of problems, it has carried me through the lowest of days and given me enough space to relish the joyful ones.

The last week had me meeting up with good friends - both old and new. Friends from 30 plus years ago who have been a constant in my life, new friends made through blogging and the grief work that I do in our church. All of us fearsome, fabulous fortysomething females. Hey, I'm starting to get my bearings back already...

Then H blew into town over the week-end so that was a whirlwind affair of sorts for my family. Happy to have H back through momentarily. The flurry of activities has me reeling still.

There is the book with two days work to go that is turning out to be a lovely anthology of women's stories. Women like myself who have walked the journey to find what makes us beautiful and confident in the mid-life years. I've read and re-read their stories so much it feels like I've lived with these women all my life. I can't just yet tell you the book's title but if you are 40 plus and wanting to learn about how other Filipinas like you have navigated their midlife, then this is the book for you :)

Then there is my friend J who has been strapped to hospital bed somewhere in Detroit because of complications from stomach surgery. J and I grew up together and have been friends for the longest time. His illness has me worried but it also has us re-connected. I really pray that he pulls through and I ask that you say a prayer for him so that he can be well soon.

And then there is the new consultancy I've gotten myself into that has me working out of a hospital for three days in a week. Interesting but amazing workload. So far so good but sooooo busy as well.

So this is my life and I miss blogging. But now that I have that off my chest, I feel so much better already I can now hit the sack peacefully and get ready for another long and blessed day.

See you all soon!

A Decade of Writing

It's past midnight but my mind is wide awake.

My adrenaline is still up. I'm in the thick of editing work for 14 more stories for a book - an anthology of essays written by Filipina women at, or past midlife. It's been quite a fascinating read, seeing how many others like me have successfully navigated the journey, triumphed over tragedy and loss, soared through a defining moment in their lives that changed them forever.

This morning, one of the book's main coordinators asked me in an email (she was tasked to do the About the Editor's page) "When did you know that you wanted to become a writer?" Her question made me stop for a moment. And then I told her that I had always wanted to become a writer for as far back as I could remember. The written word and I have carried a long-standing love affair that probably began when I was nine years old and losing myself in my books and journals.

The dream to become a writer was put on hold, I told her, to give way to my mother's wishes that I pursue a degree in Business Management because it was what was practical and what my late father would have wanted. So off to college I went and successfully tucked up a Management degree under my belt. But writing was always there and I would do it on the side, surreptitiously. It had always been there - through my elementary, high school and college years -- re-surfacing at every opportunity.

And then marriage and children came and so the writer had to give way once more to the demands of motherhood and wife-hood. However, the seeming simplicity of life was shattered when my son died in 1998. It was then, a few months later that the writer in me came alive once more.

The written word became my lifeline. A few months after Migi died, Good Housekeeping's then Editor in-Chief, An Mercado-Alcantara, asked me to write a piece on losing a child. That piece, published in the November 1998 issue of GH was my saving grace. The story resonated in the hearts of so many mothers like myself. To this day, people come up to me and say that they cried buckets when they read my story. After the GH assignment, many other writing assignments followed. In a couple of years, I landed my dream job as reporter for the Philippine Daily Inquirer's Lifestyle section. That was followed by posts as EIC of a pioneering women's inspirational magazine called "Me" under Mega Magazine Publishing, Inc. and then a regional post as EIC of "Health Today". I like to say that when I lost my son, I found myself. To this day, I believe that this was Migi's gift to me -- he gave me a voice, and gave me back my sense of self.

Ten years. I look back and reflect of how and where the writing life has taken me and I cannot help but be amazed at how good God is. It is a life that has evolved, that has ebbed and flowed with the seasons of my own life.

And so today, I find myself working in a different genre -- books and a column on parenting and of course, blogging. So just as a life evolves and re-invents itself, in the same way, the writing life and the writer, change. I review the last ten years and quietly wonder to myself what the next ten will bring. I've stopped making plans and instead I live this writing life on a day to day basis. I've found that I write best when I keep in God's flow. Just as he has guided me in the last decade, I know that He will continue to guide my pen onto the next chapters of my writing life. The many gifts I have been given over the last ten years are all because of His graciousness and love. Who am I therefore, not to follow His lead?

On Giving

Sometimes you find gems in your Inbox.

Here is one sent in by my cousin-in-law Lois Ilustre. Happy Sunday!

MAGNOLIAS
by Edna Ellison

I spent the week before my daughter's June wedding running last-minute trips to the caterer, florist, tuxedo shop, and the church about forty miles away. As happy as I was that Patsy was marrying a good Christian young man, I felt laden with responsibilities as I watched my budget dwindle . . so many details, so many bills, and so little time.

My son Jack was away at college, but he said he would be there to walk his younger sister down the aisle, taking the place of his dad who had died a few years before. He teased Patsy, saying he'd wanted to give her away since she was about three years old!

To save money, I gathered blossoms from several friends who had large magnolia trees. Their luscious, creamy-white blooms and slick green leaves would make beautiful arrangements against the rich dark wood inside the church.

After the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding, we banked the podium area and choir loft with magnolias. As we left just before midnight, I felt tired but satisfied this would be the best wedding any bride had ever had! The music, the ceremony, the reception - and especially the flowers - would be remembered for years.

The big day arrived - the busiest day of my life - and while her bridesmaids helped Patsy to dress, her fianc�e Tim, walked with me to the sanctuary to do a final check. When we opened the door and felt a rush of hot air, I almost fainted; and then I saw them - all the beautiful white flowers were black. Funeral black. An electrical storm during the night had knocked out the air conditioning system, and on that hot summer day, the flowers had wilted and died.

I panicked, knowing I didn't have time to drive back to our hometown, gather more flowers, and return in time for the wedding.

Tim turned to me. "Edna, can you get more flowers? I'll throw away these dead ones and put fresh flowers in these arrangements."

I mumbled, "Sure," as he be-bopped down the hall to put on his cuff links.

Alone in the large sanctuary, I looked up at the dark wooden beams in the arched ceiling. "Lord," I prayed, "please help me. I don't know anyone in this town. Help me find someone willing to give me flowers - in a hurry!" I scurried out praying for four things: the blessing of white magnolias, courage to find them in an unfamiliar yard, safety from any dog that may bite my leg, and a nice person who would not get out a shotgun when I asked to cut his tree to shreds.

As I left the church, I saw magnolia trees in the distance. I approached a house . . . no dog in sight. I knocked on the door, and an older man answered. So far so good . . . no shot gun. When I stated my plea the man beamed, "I'd be happy to!"

He climbed a stepladder and cut large boughs and handed them down to me. Minutes later, as I lifted the last armload into my car trunk, I said, "Sir, you've made the mother of a bride happy today."

"No, Ma'am," he said. "You don't understand what's happening here."

"What?" I asked.

"You see, my wife of sixty-seven years died on Monday. On Tuesday I received friends at the funeral home, and on Wednesday...." He paused. I saw tears welling up in his eyes. "On Wednesday I buried her." He looked away. "On Thursday most of my out-of-town relatives went back home, and on Friday - yesterday - my children left."

I nodded.

"This morning," he continued, "I was sitting in my den crying out loud. I miss her so much. For the last sixteen years, as her health got worse, she needed me. But now nobody needs me. This morning I cried, 'Who needs an eighty-six-year-old wore-out man? Nobody!' I began to cry louder. 'Nobody needs me!'"
About that time, you knocked, and said, "Sir, I need you."

I stood with my mouth open.

He asked, "Are you an angel? The way the light shone around your head into my dark living room..."

I assured him I was no angel.

He smiled. "Do you know what I was thinking when I handed you those magnolias?"

"No."

"I decided I'm needed. My flowers are needed. Why, I might have a flower ministry! I could give them to everyone! Some caskets at the funeral home have no flowers. People need flowers at times like that, and I have lots of them. They're all over the backyard! I can give them to hospitals, churches - all sorts of places. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to serve the Lord until the day He calls me home!"

I drove back to the church, filled with wonder. On Patsy's wedding day, if anyone had asked me to encourage someone who was hurting, I would have said, "I don't have time to minister to anyone today. It's my daughter's wedding day."

But God found a way through dead flowers.

Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.

Blessed are those who give without remembering....and receive without forgetting.

Mid-Lifers Revolution

The ability to laugh at oneself unabashedly, if I may say so, is one of the best gifts that mid-life brings.

The other day, I was so hungry that I wolfed down a Krispy Kreme doughnut while rushing my 9-year old son to the barber shop at The Podium. While giving the barber instructions to give L a "dos" cut, he was looking at me intently and then signaled that I had something at the side of my mouth. I immediately wiped it off -- shucks, bits of sugar from my Krispy Kreme had stuck to the side of my mouth. Ew. How unglam diba? Nevertheless, I just shrugged it off, smiled and thanked him. Motherly duties often get in the way of one's vanity especially when you are in a rush to get things done.

I'm reading Amy Cohen's "The Late Bloomer's Revolution" and seeing parts of myself and other mid-lifing women I know in her warm and witty memoir. Just the other day, I sat down with an actress who was beginning her midlife journey and who, a few months back had just broken off with her boyfriend of three years. I was in awe of the manner by which she narrated that sad episode of her life, finding humor in the circumstances she found herself in. "Oooooh my God. Siempre it was sooo painful," she tells me. "And for the first time in my life I did not have work for three straight months! But I guess the Lord just really wanted me to ride with the pain. Damahin ko na daw lahat para matapos na," she says. "But of course, there were days na parang, hay naku Lord, kunin mo na ako, please". She laughs at the recollection.

Cohen's story is about a woman at mid-life who loses her mother and in the same breath has not yet found her mate. Her story is fresh, funny and very real. Bloom, all of 36 when she wrote the book, had never learned to ride a bike all her life. It is one of the things she attempts to learn on the mid-life journey.

In the Baking and Books website (a great site I recently discovered for people who love sweets and books, like myself), when asked about what advice she would give to women at midlife who haven't yet found a meaningful relationship, Cohen says --


"Live your life and do not, under any circumstances, wait, because I really do think meeting someone – the right someone – is a matter of luck. Don’t listen to friends who say you want it too much or you don’t want it enough. Don’t let anyone convince you the reason you haven’t met the right one has anything to do with you.

Especially don’t let yourself wonder “What’s wrong with me?” (which I wondered for years) No one could have done more to meet someone than I did and I really do believe meeting the right one is all luck.

Travel to places you’ve always wanted to go and if you’re afraid to travel alone, go with groups or friends; enjoy going into a crowded movie alone and getting a great seat because there’s only one left; eat those weird dinners you can only have when you’re single – the kind where you can have dessert first and then have some tortilla chips and some chicken and then go back to the chocolate cake in the fridge.

I’m not saying it’s not going to be hard. I know as well as anyone how painful it can be to go to wedding after wedding, and then the first birthday parties and feel like “Why isn’t it me?” But it will be even worse if you haven’t enjoyed your freedom, which has so many wonderful advantages that should be savored."

Spoken so well. If you want a light summer read that will inspire you to take on new challenges, irregardless of where you are on the midlife spectrum, go grab this wonderful read. As the back of the book says, "An irresistible memoir, it's the perfect book for anyone who hopes, as George Eliot so perfectly put it, that "it's never too late to be what you might have been."

Thoughts On Blogging

My friend Cheska asks - "Does blogging get in the way of life, or does life get in the way of blogging?"

That question got me thinking. Hard.

I guess it depends on the circumstances. Right now it feels as though my life is getting in the way of blogging. Much as I would like to blog more often than my current rate, my schedule won't permit me. There's editing work to be done, a column to write, a new consultancy I need to learn about and focus on, and there are simply the demands and responsibilities of day-to-day living. Suddenly, there's so much on my plate!

I suppose when you enter a new phase in your life, a re-balancing is in order. Priorities. Priorities. Nowadays, since the start of the week, since I returned to Manila and got myself a part-time job, I wake up much earlier than I used to. Because it's summer and the kids are home, there's the myriad of to-do lists that need to be accomplished. With H in Ho Chi Minh, I fill the shoes of both parents. Not that I'm complaining but you see... life has gotten in the way, momentarily.

Then again, I'm doing way more writing now and find myself more in-synch with me. Must be age or that I have finally learned to settle down. Yes, at 43. The new situation forces you to find resources within to make it through all the things you must do by yourself. I also find that I've been praying and talking to HIM, way more than I ever did. HE is after all the source of strength of all my days.

I must also say that Blogging and other forms of writing and artistic pursuits keeps me in balance. So when life gets in the way, what do I do - blog!

Hope to be able to post more once I am able to get my bearings back.
Catch up with you all sooner than you think :)

Gabby Concepcion Back Home

Buti hindi kami nagkasabay ng pagdating.

Found out today that 80s hearthrob Gabby Concepcion is back in town. Sobrang huli ako sa balita. Still getting my bearings back after two weeks in HCMC. Controversy hounds Gabby wherever he goes. One thing is certain though, guapo pa rin siya. It's a crime to look that way at what, 44?

Back in my senior year in high school, halos malaglag kami sa silya everytime we would get a glimpse of him while in Typing class over at Maryknoll College where he was enrolled as a Freshman. This was before his marriage to Sharon. I hope his first movie will be worth-watching. The man still looks great. I'm sure a lot of women from my generation will be making a bee-line for the box office if and when that movie is made. And whoa, his leading lady is no less than the comebacking babe, Claudine Baretto. I wonder if Vicki B will be getting Gabby to endorse. Uy, all-natural ang kaguapuhan. Maybe he shoud endorse Centrum or Havitall instead.

Hey, this is not chismis. Just some news, fresh (well, not really) from Manila.


For the latest Philippine news stories and videos, visit GMANews.TV