Portrait of a Husband

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Originally uploaded by stimuli lab.

Let's talk about men today. Particularly, THE men in our lives. And I'm not talking sons here. I refer to the HUSBAND and how he should be the designated HEAD of the home.

What does it really mean to be the Head of the marriage?

H and I attended the 3rd installment of the Biblical Portrait of Marriage series lst night. In the midst of a rainy evening, the insights we picked up from the study were very enriching. As I shared earlier this evening with a newly-married friend of mine - these were lessons that H and I should have listened and paid more attention to 16 years ago. Then again, all in God's perfect time and perhaps our hearts weren't just ready yet because we had still had a lot of searching and growing up to do. Let me begin...

Among the many things that Pastor Larry shared with us last night, the thing he said that stuck most to my head was this -- "Headship cannot be done without love and vice versa. Otherwise it will result in dysfunction. Husbands need to always remember that NOTHING (work, a career, a hobby, a vice etc...) is to great to give up up for one's wife." Whew. Tall order right? I could hear the other wives clapping all about. Kasali na ako doon, siempre. Truly. What woman would not love and submit to a man who is completely devoted to her and the children and "rules" the home with a loving heart and hand?

Last night's study highlighted four practical pointers for the role of husband as head --

1. Overcome any feelings of inadequacy, fear, and anxiety about your role through Biblical solutions. First, INADEQUACY is overcome through James 1:5 "If you need wisdom - if you want to know what God wants you to do - ask him, and he will gladly tell you. He will not resent your asking." Secondly, FEAR is overcome through 2 Timothy 1:7 " For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power,love and self-dsicipline. Third, ANXIETY is overcome through Philippians 4:6-7 " Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for what He has done."

2. Enlist spiritually mature married men to meet with you regularly for support and acountability. Now, without passing judgement, let me add a little footnote to this. In my previous religion, it was quite frustrating for me to see men who would "serve" so wholeheartedly in church on a Sunday and yet it was well-known all over that Mr. so and so kept a mistress on the side, or the other Mr. so and so would beat his children black and blue when they disobeyed him at home. I'm not talking about double-standards here. When we say spiritually, married men, we mean men who really live out their lives - both at work and in the home - according to how Jesus would want them to.

3. Take Responsibilty for your own spiritual life and the spiritual lives of your wife and family. How do you do this?
a. Read the Bible each day.
b. Pray for your wife specifically each day.
Pray for her hopes and dreams.
Pray for her hopes and challenges.
Pray for her spiritual life and growth

I think among all the things that H does well, he does this third point the best :) In fact, I think it's because he prays for me unceasingly that through the grace of God, I have changed in ways that he (nor I) would have never thought possible a few years back. It's really amazing when you allow God to fully mold you and take control of your life. God really is the only one who can change people's hearts. So there is nothing impossible with prayer.

c. Attend church regularly. (and have a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ)
d. Partcipate in a small group for spiritual growth and discipleship.
e. Serve the Lord daily.

4. REJOICE regularly that God called you to be the Head of your wife -- and as you lead, "do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men." In other words, love yor wife AUTHENTICALLY as to the Lord.

When I think about how much H and I have both grown in our individual walk with the Lord and together as a couple, I cannot help but marvel once more at the miracles that od has allowed to take place in our hearts as a married couple. The marriage vow of for "better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health...." surely takes on a different spin when you have actually lived through it and survived it as a couple. I am really thankful that God has been faithful to us both. That in spite of our human failings, our pride and stubborness, He gently and faithfully, continues to draw us back to Him. And yes, saccharine as it may sound, love has gotten better in the second half of life especially if you keep the Lord between the two of you always. He's the glue, that makes the cleaving possible.

Please go ahead and share this blog with the head of your home... Next week's lesson will be all about us girls :) hmmmm, I'm sure there'll be a ton of stuff for me to learn... never too late to learn new things to keep the music playing.

Your Brain is 73% Female, 27% Male

Your brain leans female You think with your heart, not your head Sweet and considerate, you are a giver But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

What Gender Is Your Brain?